All the talk about politics and religion seem more and more to be blurring spin and facts. Additionally, fact and fiction seem to exist depending on one’s political reality, for in fact, what is reality, if is it not perception colored by one’s own interpretation of the “truth”. We no longer seem to simply believe what can be proved only, what is claimed. We all can certainly understand that a document calling itself The Patriot Act must be patriotic, and if someone says they are religious they must be. These and other matters are very tiring so I thought I would watch some TV and the Wizard of Oz was playing. But I soon went to sleep.
Now you all know the story of The wizard of OZ. Dorothy with her little dog Toto get bumped on the head in a disaster and get transported to Oz. Along her way to see the magical wizard and go back to Kansas, she meets the Scarecrow who needs a brain, the Cowardly Lion who needs courage, and the Tin Man who needs a heart. Then they all go down the Yellow Brick Road to the Wizard who is actually a peddler.
Somewhere into my dream, I decided Frank Baum in 1917 had made a mythical journey into The Bush Administration. Suddenly Dorothy (Condoleezza Rice) was meeting George Bush (Scarecrow), John Ashcroft (Lion), and Donald Rumsfeld (Tin Man) and they were going to meet Dick Cheney (Wizard) to save them and help then in their time of need. Unfortunately the house had landed on the Wicked Witch of the East (Saddam Hussein) and the Wicked Witch of the West (Osama Ben Laden) was trying to get them. As they hurried down the Yellow Brick Road (primrose path to war), they met the wise and powerful wizard (Dick Cheney).
The Scarecrow got his brain (although somewhat flawed) with a message from God that he was to be President. The Lion got the Patriot Act. The Tin Man got war in any Muslim Country he could possibly claim was out to get us. Dorothy got the National Security Agency and later Secretary of State. The Wizard got all sorts of no bid contracts all over the Middle East and the rest of us went to the dogs.
Waking up with a cold sweat, I realized I had fallen asleep and dreamed the whole thing. I decided to never watch reality again. I must be turning Republican my wife said otherwise how I could possibly not care. Don't confuse me with the facts I said. Who are you going believe the truth or you’re lying eyes? So I decided I will just pray for the American Dream and leave the American Nightmare to George W Bush.
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"Uncle Dick, tell me another story," said Little George all fresh in his nice clean jammies with the trap door in back. Rubbing his sleepy eyes and yawning in that clueless look. "My one book has no more pictures and you know I can't read."
"Ok, how about the Evil Witch of the East and the Weapons of Mass Destruction," said Uncle Dick.
"Ok, but where is the Good Fairy in the first story?"
"This is a Republican Fable, there is no Good Fairy!"
"Ok, but tell me again how God wants me to be President."
"Well, you look at this dollar bill and it says in God we trust, and you know how religious we are about money."
"Oh, I get it." "Not only God, but George Washington want me. I could be George the Third." "Now tell me about The Wicked Witch of the East and the Weapons of Mass Destruction."
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The Evil Witch of the East & the Weapons of Mass Destruction
"One upon a time there were all sorts of bad budget surpluses and no pipeline in Afghanistan, but there was an evil witch in Iraq. Now the good Scarecrow got a mysterious book called "Osama Ben Laden Determined to Attack Targets in the US," possibly by hijacking passenger airlines, but it had no pictures."
"I bet he couldn't read it, Uncle Dick."
"That's right so he gave it back to the bad CIA, and because they had no jurisdiction in the US over domestic terrorism, they did nothing."
"Bad, Bad CIA!"
"Yeah kid, you're quick. Now there were rumors about Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, I know because I even saw and heard them in my sleep."
"But the Evil Wicked Witch of the West was in Afghanistan?"
"Right, but the oil and water were in Iraq. Besides Afghanistan was so bombed out there was nothing but a space for a pipeline and a bunch of miserable, filthy terrorists. Now, stop interrupting me! You know what unreliable people they are, they were at the ranch just before this story, remember!"
"Now, the Miserable Witch of the West that we recruited to fight in Afghanistan from the Royal Saudi Family to make the Pakistanis happy had the nerve to be ungrateful, after we tried to kill him. And we showed him. We surrounded him on one side and demanded he surrender, but he had the guile to go in the other direction. So, we attacked the Evil Wicked Witch of the East and dropped the house on him."
"Wow, we're heroes! I'm the War President! I'm the War President! Tell me about how you became the Wizard. Tell me about "The Cowardly Lion and the Patriot Act."
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The Cowardly Lion and The Patriot Act
"Ok. Well there was a lion that was beaten severely by a dead man and left at the side of the road. No one would go near him but a small rat who took a sliver out of his paw. The poor lion was so unhappy and depressed that he could not eat any one, and the rat tasted awful. "
"I decided to help him. I ordered from the All Seeing Oracle a magic powder and it was borne on a flight of buzzards to him. It gave him the insight and courage to write The Patriot Act. Now no one has ever seen The Patriot Act but criminals and prisoners, but the lion now has the courage to arrest anyone or send them to Cuba to never be seen from again. Best of all there is almost no cost since no one is ever charged, we pay no lawyers."
"But Uncle Dick, he thinks they were eagles."
"No, buzzards I always send buzzards."
"Now it's past your bed time, now close the awful book with no pictures and put the Bill Of Rights back under the bed where it belongs! Besides it only has two pages."
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"Uncle Dick, I've waited all day. Can you tell me another story? Please, Please."
"OK, Kid. What do you want to hear? "The Wings of Buzzards, It's All Greek to Me Kid, The Big Sand Box, St. George and The Red Dragon, The Magic Powder/Sky Pilot, Have A Heart, or Dorothy, Kansas and the Great American Oil Company?"
"How about the way you got your Wizard Powers?"
"Ok, Kid. I'll tell you "On the Wings of Buzzards."
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On The Wings Of Buzzards
"One day I had a dream of getting very powerful and in it I discovered the way. I first saw the All Seeing Oracle and a flock of buzzards all gathered around it. So I boarded a plane and flew far away. I went where no man has ever gone before. All the way to the Land Down Under"
"You mean to the Mystical Volcano of Hal Burton, Uncle Dick?"
"Of course, I traveled day and night looking for the sign of the Burning Bush."
"Who was it Uncle Dick?"
"I'm not sure Kid. It could be so many of them. Right beside the big pile of Skull and Bones, I saw the entrance to the volcano. I went in and breathed deep into the Noxious Fumes and saw the future."
"What did you see, Uncle Dick?"
"I saw deficits as far as the eye could see. I saw them blessed on your children and your children's children and even their children to the tenth generation. And I also got The Ten Commitments, although the first five are deferred and the last five are outsourced, and most of my hair fell out."
"Wow, that's great those awful surpluses are so bad."
"Don't worry, there none of them possible for years, Kid. Then I was borne away on the wings of buzzards"
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Have a Heart, Tin Man
"Uncle Dick can you tell how you helped the Tim Man find his heart and invade any Muslim country."
"That was the hard part. I couldn't find a heart that would fit, so I stuck a Game Boy in his chest and wired it right up. When ever he needs to get pumped, he just runs Doom, Alien, Missile Command, Shock and Awe or some similar program that kills everything and chews them right up. The is one bug though"
"What's that, Uncle Dick."
"He can't determine friend from foe, so he either kills or locks up everybody. But the good news is at this rate, he's sure to find a heart that will fit. I've had a couple of gals looking over the prisoners and when they find one that is just the right size, they will give the old thumbs up'"
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The All Seeing Oracle
"Uncle Dick tell me again about the All Seeing Oracle or The Big Red Eye that you saw in the Volcano Hal Burton."
"The Oracle is a giant Red Eye, well really a big red border around a big white eye that has a pupil with lines to the four winds (North, East, West and South). He's also refereed to as The Big Kahuna, or The Great Murdock. He has a little rat Karl by his side or at least he used to. He inherited his powers from the Great Northland of Hisler and issued The Emaciation Proclamation."
"When I saw the future, I saw long lines of hallowed out faceless people who looked like clones and were happily working 55 hour weeks or 25 hour weeks without the burden of benefits. Many of them were lying down waving or at least covered with flags. My nostrils were thick with the smell of napalm in the morning."
“I want to see him, Uncle Dick."
"Well sniff the Magic Powder and you will."
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The Magic Powder/Sky Pilot
and Little George sniffed the Magic Powder and it seemed he was flying away from Houston toward Kenny Bunkport and past Alabama all the way to the Great Giant Red Eye and his little rat Karl. He kept hearing a song about a Sky Pilot and he flew so high. He looked down below he had a banjo on his knee. St. George who looked a lot like his father was playing with the Red Dragon and they all went up in smoke with incendiary bombs. There were visions of Sugar Plum Fairies dancing on his head.
Suddenly, he was in front of the Big Kahuna and it moved swiftly like a fox toward the Middle East. It devoured whole areas and we were in blessed carnage forever.
The full moon cast a white haze in a scarlet blood red sky and words cut through him like a hot axe through butter. He heard people speaking in tongues that sounded foreign. Words like: "Ich habe Zen Finger and Ich habe es im voraus ausgemacht and Ich habe es aus guter Quelle." Then all was quiet. George and Dorothy were back in Kansas and they were running The Great American Oil Company. The rest of the class was reading a book about goats. What a relief thought George, I'm home.
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This is a story as it exists only in that time and place where twilight turns into shadows and reality is indeed fiction and bears no connection to the "truth." This is not the end, but simply a starting point in a far away place of non reality that hovers somewhere between perception and fiction and bears no resemblance between persons living or dead that may share similar names and circumstances.
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